Heartbreak from my toddler starting school

The most challenging time for me this year has to be my son going off to school. Oh my goodness, why didn’t any one tell me I would be so anxious and constantly worried.

I like to have things planned out and being extra prepared. So months before my almost three year old started school, I bought everything off my school list. I went and got extra clothes, and little odd things, and even then, I didn’t feel prepared.

I started emotionally preparing my little boy weeks before. We did the open day at the school, he played and got to explore and get familiar with the school grounds. I started telling him about his teacher, showed him pictures of her. We took out his school bag now and then, looked inside and played around with it. Even with all this, I still felt like I was not prepared.

Then the first day came. Naturally my little boy didn’t want to go to school. He cried for us when we dropped him off. Asked us not to leave him there, this broke my heart beyond my expectations. I cried in the car and prayed all day. I called the school twice to check on him. Don’t judge me, I was anxious. He’s my baby.

The first day aftermath with Ankylosaurus and another dinosaur whose name I don’t remember

But I can gladly say we got through it. I am still anxious each day he goes off in the morning. Some days, he’s sad in the morning, some happy to go. Some days he asks me not to go to work so I can stay with him. But we’re getting there. If anything, I’ve gotten so closer to my little boy, we spend Friday afternoons together chatting and catching up. We spend our evenings creating crafts and I get to hear about his friend at school who is also a sister.

The biggest lessons for have been to trust the school I have chosen, to speak confidently about his teachers and the staff at the school, to keep encouraging him to enjoy school and learn, and mostly, to let him go.

I have also accepted that it will take time for all of us to adjust to this new phenomenon called school and that’s ok. It doesn’t have to and will not always be picture perfect. This Virgo needs to just accept that.

It does helps that one morning this week when I dropped him off, he kissed me and waved goodbye, and then said school was fun when I picked him up. My little boy is growing.

Love,

Mahashane

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